The BruserFactory

Normal  Is Relative

Wisdom. Or Something Like It.

1. What is the first thing you need to do after you open the oven door to check on your turkey?  Duck.

2. Point the first squeeze of the mustard at the dish because it will be largely water.

3. Never buy a lifetime supply of anything.

Wisdom from a guru.  Wait.  There's more.

Little girls mature more quickly than little boys. No. They do not. You’re just not comparing apples to apples. Like the statement suggests, you are comparing apples to oranges. Apples and oranges both turn into round juicy fruits we like to eat and when you trace their development, you may very well find that one of them is seemingly ready before the other. One is sweet before the other turns sweet. But one never really gets as sweet as the other and so it had a disadvantage in that race from the beginning. Basically it is the same thing for kids. Take a look at the final product and you will see that the mature female is qualitatively different than the mature male. In grade three, if you are going to make a fair comparison, calculate the percentage of ‘maturity completion’ each has achieved at that time and you will find that the numbers are much more comparable than you thought.


Why does time seem to pass so much more quickly when we are older than when we are young? When you’re ten years old, a summer is two months long and equal to 1.7% of your entire life. When you’re forty years old, the same summer is equal to 0.42% of your life. Relatively nothing.

4) Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want. - David Feherety


Why don’t I like to listen to my old favourite songs? I believe there are two possible answers here. People have certain physiological commonalities. One of those involves the consequences of neural stimulation. Certain things feel good, like a massage. But massage the same one cubic centimeter square patch of skin excessively and what initially felt good, subsequently feels bad, even painful. Different patterns of neural stimulation are common among people. Neurons are organized in patterns which result in their being receptive to certain complex stimuli. Like a template. If the stimulus matches the template then the neural bunch responds with maximal firing. If the stimulus does not match the template then the consequential firing is either less than maximal, or absent. I believe this is why certain musical chords played can sound pleasant to a majority of people. We have in common similar but not necessarily identical neural templates. This is why some people like country music. It raps that tuning fork in their head that is waiting for it. There can be consensus as to what represents potentially pleasurable music. American Idol and the judges who give their opinions as to what performance was musically pleasant is the perfect example. Often I can listen to a new song on the radio and detect immediately that it will be popular. But the repeated stimulation of the same pattern of neurons dulls the experience and if the radio station plays the song for too long, it soon loses its attraction. If it didn’t, a number one hit would stay number one forever. It isn’t that a better song has come along to take its place, it’s just that the previous one has worn out its welcome. I don’t believe that it is our maturity or changing tastes which are responsible for a previously enjoyed song not stimulating the favourable feelings it used to. The second reason I believe old songs aren’t enjoyable as they used to is because of our acceptance of immanent mortality. We are afraid to age. Songs previously enjoyed occupy a static moment in our lives when we were younger. It is difficult to go back and enjoy those songs in the same manner as before because of the difference in time between now and then. Previously enjoyed songs are more apt to conjur feelings of sadness or nostalgia than they are apt to conjur an appreciation for their musical content. This concept could also be utilized when attempting to explain humour, fashion and anything that can be linked or associated with time.

5) Never pay for your groceries until you have loaded them all back into your cart. As soon as you pay the cashier you are dead to her or him as well as to the customer behind you.  They will both look at you to say 'Are you still here?' You know they do this because you do it to the person in front of you.

6) I used to be wise beyond my years. Now, unfortunately, it's because of them.

7) I used to think bannisters were for sliding down.

8) Question: Can you see light?  A) No. It travels at 3.0 x 10 to the 32 exponential (I don't know how to type that) metres per second squared. B) Yes. It's all we can see. We see nothing without it. Talk amongst yourselves

9) Just because random can't be predicted, doesn't mean it can't be anticipated. Think lottery. You can do better.

10) It's May, 2020. They have an additive you can add to a drink to maker it sweeter.  It's called a sweetener like Nutrasweet or Aspertame or Sugar.  Why don't they have a de sweetener? Something you can add to a drink that makes it taste less sweet. Neutralizes your mistake or the drink you want except it has too much sugar in it. The de sweetener may or may not reduce the actual calories which are there because of the physical pressence of the sugar. I haven't decided yet.

There are only two ways in which we learn from new information. The first is revelation. This is essentially the establishment of a construct without any previous information regarding the construct. Something thought of for the very first time. It can happen in the scientific world but it is not pure revelation if it is, for example, based on previous findings and what we already know to be. When we are born, we only have potential. Tabula Rasa. All new information is stored. It becomes more meaningful when it is stored near something associated. The experience of temperature. Cold relative to warm. All new information soon becomes less so. After a good amount of data has been accumulated, revelation no longer comes into play. Unless you are not able to establish relationships between already accumulated information. Then your own revelation is real each time. Good for you. That is, this means for example you are developmentally disabled such that you are not able to make associations between data to enable you to make decisions according to social consensus, but yet you often do end up making proper decisions, good for you. That is revelation each time. You are not just keeping up. You are excelling.

The second way in which we learn and grow is through the utilization of analogy. The comparison of what is in front of us with what is already inside us. We make deductions, conclusions, and decisions based on our experiences. The aspiration is that we accumulate enough experiences such that nothing is new and we are able to best govern our future actions with confidence, since they are based on previous successes or information of which we are certain.

Analogy Fodder

1. An HO scale train re railer track segment.

I was five to ten years old and just could not arrange the wheels of an HO scale train to successfully align with the track.Then I found a small segment of track called a 'rerailer'. I didn't understand it but it was so satisying. You put any railway car on this thing, wheels wherever, and just run it back and forth a couple times and like magic the wheels somehow aligned to the track.

Sometimes  there are rerailers in life.  Life hacks. Recognize them. Something that when you try it a few times, it rights itself. Or like try and try again, learning from your recent errors until you find the path of least resistance. 

2. The Matrix

See things from an empowered perspective.  I feel I see the Martrix when I'm in the zone. When it is not possible for me to be any better because I see the task from the best perspective. Like when I grabbed the falling beer bottle before it hits the ground that the waitress dropped in the restaurant and not even spilling any the of beer because I've looked so far ahead it's like only having to move in slow motion.

Also, the blue versus the red pill.  Most people seem to have taken the pill which precludes a higher level view of their lives.  They put one foot in front of the other and can't see the consequences of their actions outside of what they have achieved towards the person's daily sustenance. Awareness of global implications?  No.

3. Ground Hog Day - laying in the snow in anticipation - sooner or later you learn to do everything.

I drove 150 km to a town for work 72 times per year for twenty years. From the very beginning I knew that I would come to know every facet of this town because I will have gone there an infinite number of times. Every street, every convenience and tiny store.  And probably almost all of the 5000 people who lived in the town.

And that scene in the movie where Bill Murray lays in the snow because he anticipates the potentially romantic fall beside him into the snow which Andy McDowell will soon take. But only the first time was real and sincere. Now it's just contrived.  Like buying flowers for valentine's day. 

4. A Pebble in your shoe.

I use this to describe the difference between a tiny hearing aid called a completely in the canal aid (CIC) versus one which doesn't get inserted so deeply.  You can tolerate the cic but you know that it is there.  All day. One which doesn't get inserted so deeply, you can forget about for great periods of time because it's comfortable.

5. Lucy pulling the ball away from Charlie Brown as he tries to kick it.

This is just a promise being made to you countless times and you fall for it countless times but the promise is broken. Every time.

6. Lilo and Stitch. My friends need to be punished.

The greatest idea. Spoons represent your friends who have not been nice to you.  They can sit in a jar of pickle juice for a while to think about what they have done. They get a time out.

7. Serving a T-Bone steak on a garbage can lid.

Damn. Got this from Bill Cosby and it just stuck. I don't like to take things from Bill Cosby. He can have it all back. When you get something that appears nice on the surface but then realize that just beneath the surface it's not so nice. Like getting a bumper to bumper warranty on your new car and then later finding out that only the bumpers are covered. No. That's not it but it's funny so I'm leaving it there.  A better example is your son introducing you to his new girlfriend, as they come out of his bedroom. In the morning.

8. Hands interlocked on desk. How long?

In my book "The Respectable Psychic" a ten year old boy is caught talking in class. He repents.  Sits at his desk with hands neatly crossed. Not talking even though his classmates are.  How long does he have to maintain this immaculate behaviour before he not only nullifies the mark of talking in class but gets awarded a prize for being so good now? Like missing a credit card payment.

9. Tommy Lee Jones. In the movie "The Fugitive".

With a gun pointed at Harrison Ford poised to jump, he pleads his case of innocence to Tommy Lee Jones, who believed him. But he didn’t care. He was just doing his job. And he was good at it. These are the people in my world. I don't bother explaining things at the License renewal center. They don't care. Or grocery cashiers. I don't justify to them what I am buying.

10. 'Horse 'em' Canadian Tire commercial.

Santa is reading the letters from boys and girls regarding what each would like for Christmas.  Elf eagerly standing by with toy he wants to put in the sack for the child.  It's a horse.  Actually, it's the only toy he has available to him.  He's pulling from a bag of horses. "Horse 'em boss? Horse 'em?"  I ordered a self inking stamp from China. Sent custom logo. They confirmed they received it. They asked for a second copy for extra good result. I got the stamp today.  It's a smiley face. No. That's not my logo.